June 2013
once i was making out with a guy and got bored so i started playing a game of candy crush in my head
SHIT!!! I STUCK AN EGG UP MY BUTTHOLE BC I COULDNT FIND MY TOBLERONE BAR SO I HAD TO USE AN EGG AND NOW ITS STUCK :///// DONT REBLOG!!!
do adults actually have feelings or do they just talk about economy
becoming an adult is weird
it’s like
wow i can drive a car and set my own schedule
wow i can go online and buy 50 dragon dildos
wait what?
did i stutter
Everyone is cute, they just may not be YOUR kind of cute. But they’re cute to someone, and that thought alone is adorable.
[JUDGE VOICE] did u do the thing
KANYE WEST IS PREGNANT
if you’re reading this ur fucking cute
I made my facebook status as “feeling potato” with the emoji update and I’ve given my mom yet another reason to be concerned for me
what do u put in a toaster
bread
this isnt even a joke
sometimes it’s hard for me to know when people use “xDDD” sarcastically and that pains me
